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| Røkke introduces BFM... |
28th January 2014. 16:50hrs. The last time anyone saw Dr Ruben Stein. Concerns within the League authorities failed to give any rise to the location of former the Molde supremo, and action was evidently forced upon Molde FK president Kjell Inge Røkke.
Røkke called a press conference for Thursday 27th February 2014, and hope was for word of the manager appointed 11th Sept 2011. But no, Røkke surprised all around him walking in with 6’1” of blonde Irishman sporting a navy suit, open necked white shirt and pulling at an apparent appendage somewhere in the region of mid thigh. Arriving from 3rd Division side Kils AIK in the League of Champions; Beerfuelledman may not be the Messiah Molde fans were hoping for, having managed at this level in a rival league, but if he can win a few matches he could be considered at least the club's Tim Sherwood.
“I am having the great pleasure of introducing to you all the Beerfuelledman,” up & downed Røkke in Scandinavian English. “We are bringing him here to Molde with promises of new home in Lilyhammer filled with beautiful Norwegian girls, plenty of snow and full control over team affairs. He is our Giovanni Henriksson, yes?”
Sources say Beerfuelledman jetted in at 8pm this very evening and wasted no time telling a squad of players gutted at the unexplainable loss of their coach, bottom of the form charts on 8 (the top team is on 15) and languishing in the relegation places 4 pts & goal difference away from safety exactly what he wanted. In a quickly arranged friendly against Reserve Team I, even with the form crisis, with a little direction Molde won 6-0; Nordraak finding his shooting boots for the first time this season – netting a hat-trick. Could BFM be the man to get the best from him?
Few of the Norwegian reporters at Aker Stadion could contain themselves as BFM took the podium to face new reporters, a new team, a new league and a new challenge.
XD: Rubenstein took Molde from Division 7 to Division 3 BFM – How are you going to top a Legend?
“Colleagues in the Press. Listen to me. I will be straight with you always, but I won’t put up with any nonsense. Dr Rubenstein did very well for this club, but let’s look at the facts. You yourselves reported on 11th January 2014; and yes – I read; in your article “System Support Buys Starlet For Molde” that a potential outlay of 7.4m on Alberto Manta had been saved with the purchase of Flavio Lorenzoni leaving 24m in the bank. Read the article yourselves. The fact is the current bank balance is 7.25m econs and Dr Rubenstein is missing. I’m no mathematician – but I make that 16.75m econs and one erstwhile former honcho missing. With no recorded spending outlay. I guess in Ireland we’re a little more naturally suspicious than you Norwegians. I arrived this evening and took a look at the team. They’re in rag order and no mistake, but a little direction tonight in our friendly has gotten Nordraak off the mark and we’ve corrected a huge negative form trend already. This is where my job begins. AF is sill ok, but F is in the toilet. We’ve a scrap on our hands to just survive – that, obviously, will be my goal.”
XD: Are you saying Dr Rubenstein has ran off with the money BFM? (Gasp!)
“I’m reporting the facts ladies & gentlemen. I arrived an hr ago. I’ve had no chance to investigate matters; my job is to focus on the team. I’m sure there is an explanation. I just don’t have it. I’m here to steady a ship with a massive hole in the hull. That’s what Mr Røkke is paying me for. ”
XD: How did things end with Kils BFM?
“I’ve set up for their game with Ecosse tomorrow so hopefully they can find a new manager soon after. Xpert Daily were on the ball in their article of 3/2/14 ‘Kils rumourmill in overdrive”. Things were grating. Some might say I jumped before I was pushed. But I had a great relationship with the fans, Kils are a super club and I will be watching with a lot of interest how my successor does. But that interest will not detract from the job I’ve been hired to do here. Maybe I am Tim Sherwood; doing a job until Louis Van Gaal or Dr Rubenstein are available. But I’ll do my best for Molde and leave those decisions to Mr Røkke."
Molde’s new boss certainly has wasted no time in getting his feet under the table. Could his startling revelations have any merit? 16.75m econ is missing. So is Dr Rubenstein. What has happened? Is BFM Tim Sherwood? At least he’s won a few. Is Nordraak Molde’s Adebayor? Can BFM save them from relegation to division 4?
One thing’s for certain – this is not the end of this story...
We at Xpert Daily....are camped in the office tapped into the wire. Updates as we receive them...
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