|
|
 |
| Gollum grins as win opens can of worms |
“There’s too much happening here,” grimaces manager Tony Brazil from under his desk as disciplinary letters from the X11 arrive whilst fireworks blast over Estadio Lucifer.
Brazil is tempted out from his hiding place with a flagon of vodka and some crisps and finally speaks his mind to the assembled press. He stands and is quickly draped in a yellow and red Matchstick Men flag, as he’d stripped and streaked across the pitch at the Bakom Flanor – refusing to put any clothes on till his team got promoted. The result is Brazil addresses the crowd looking halfway between a Roman Emperor and a wino.
“It all went wrong with the loss at Aris, and went from bad to worse as the Greken equalised and took control of the game in the second half in today’s match. Then it happened. We got a freekick on the 90th minute and Aegerter hammered it into the net to give us a 2-1 victory.
“The win means we are assured of at least second spot no matter what happens when we play league leaders One United in the final game of the season. But these raw facts do not cover the half of it.
“Aegerter is retiring at the end of this season, and he was on the bench as I set up a formation favouring his free-kick apprentice who plays up front. At the last minute I reverted to a more cautious approach, and the reintroduction of Aegerter must be seen as a masterstroke.
“Indeed, I was named manager of the round probably in no small measure of this line up. But the apprentice and other young players have not been able to develop due to the close nature of our last few games – and these guys will be the make or break future of the club should we progress into the higher divisions.
“All those conundrums were playing on my mind when I ran naked to the home fans and did a few things I acknowledge should never be done in public places. Our keeper Frodo ‘Gollum’ Bagger enjoyed my display though as the home support had been pelting him with bottles, coins and all sorts throughout the match. Gollum grinned and I actually had to force him to keep his kit on, reminding him of the importance of not being banned if we go into a play-off situation.
“Aye,” Brazil strikes a pose, “the play-offs could really help out our development of the younger players and Gollum is more than capable of both scoring and saving penalties for fun. He scored a penalty today for example. So this opens a can of worms – do we use this final game of the season as pure DV so lose it and concentrate on the extra match in the play-offs?”
Brazil looks over to his goalkeeper and sees him actually eating a can of worms. He throws up into his flag at the sight of that and shudders off naked. It’s not easy being a manager.
|
|
|
|
|
 |