|
|
Kiss me ‘Deadly’ |
“R.I.P. Rodger ‘Deadly’ Hedley,” weeps manager Tony Brazil at his veteran midfielder’s beside.
Hedley pulls from his mouth various breathing and anti-choking devices and splutters, “I’m not finished yet old man.”
“You’ll be in this hospital bed for the rest of the season, and beyond; plus your form is now zero. ‘Deadly’, to me you’re dead.”
“I’m not finished, I’m only thirty-three,” flat-lines Hedley, already drifting back into unconsciousness.
Unconsciousness was the state most of the fans at Estadio Lucifer were in during the match, as the 0-0 bore draw between Matchsticks and Modest was drawing to an unsatisfactory anti-climax.
To be fair the score updates coming in from the Mustang v Kaka game were sending a numbed shock all around the stadium. It was widely expected that Mustang would lose against the league leaders, meaning the winner of this match would be challenging them for the play-off spot.
At half-time Mustang were leading Kaka 5-2, making this match redundant, and Mustang goals kept pinging through on the radio in the second half, making that game ridiculous. Then Matchstick Men went on the hunt pressing for a late goal and so opened themselves up for the horrorshow ending on the 88th minute.
‘Deadly’ Hedley was caught in the crossfire when a corner-clearance was volleyed back in to the goal-mouth melee, wrong-footed when a pile of bodies landed on him and left for dead as the dust cleared. The sleeping stands erupted in demands for a penalty, which was never going to be given.
The air-ambulance carrying Hedley’s body out of the ground was the last meaningful action of the game, the ball passed around blankly until thankfully the whistle blew to end of this dumbstruck farce.
“So what do I do now?” Brazil is on the horns of a dilemma, “promotion’s gone and we’re three points away from the relegation zone with three games to go. Is it kids all the way now, specifically our rookie keeper? Or should relegation be avoided by trying to win some of these final three games?”
Brazil finds a short-term solution by helping himself to some of his midfielder’s pain-killing drugs, slobbering, “kiss me, ‘Deadly’.”
|
|
|
|