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| Player Profile: Kanye East |
The Dutch weekly football magazine Schoot! recently featured Eikels’ star striker Kanye East on their player profile page. We have translated this into English for the benefit of our readers, and to celebrate his impending legend status.
Name: Kanye East
Team: Go Ahead Eikels (Pro League)
Position: Striker
Born: 2007 (Season 9)
Special Qualities: Works hard in training, good in the air, goal instincts
Appearances: 99
Goals: 50
Most memorable match: Last season, we defeated Capital Punishment in the cup. They were 2 skillbars stronger on the day, and we weren’t expecting to progress. But we managed to take the game into extra time, and then found the net in the final minute. It was amazing!
Biggest ambition: To play in the XCL. That would mean winning the league or the cup on the way, which would be fantastic
Hobbies: Fishing, phishing, fisting and physics
Favourite other sports: French cricket and Kabaddi
Ambition when you were younger: I remember watching The Game with my family every week. My favourite team was BK Hammarslag. The whole family would gather round the computer monitor and watch the action unfold. I have fond memories of seeing words like “Lob header on goal by Tryggve Arnason... GOOAAL!!!”. I knew when I was only 8 seasons old that I wanted to score gooaals myself once day. I joined the Eikels youth set up (GAE Boys) soon after, as they were my nearest official team. And when I turned 17 seasons old I was given my chance in the first team squad.
Best thing about being an X11 player: For me personally, it’s about scoring goals. I work really hard on my form training and it’s nice to see the benefits. But there are other contributions as well – I always check my match performance after a game, and it’s always nice to see how I have contributed to a good rating for my teampart.
Worst thing about being an X11 player: The endless form training! It’s never ending! Bear in mind that we play in a worldwide league sometimes with 2 games a week. Sometimes we have to travel for a whole 24 hours to reach our opponents’ ground, then play a match, then spend a day travelling home. And yet on each of these days we are expected to fit in our form training when the manager makes us. It’s brutal! Plus, as digital footballers we age 4 times as quickly as normal people. My little sister was born the year before me and she is only 9, but I am now 25. I will probably die of old age when she is still a teenager. But at least I’m not in a private league. Those poor players not only tend to get paid less, but they can be forced to have plastic surgery to change their appearance, or are forced to wear tasteless jewellery or are permanently scarred - all at the whim of their manager. They also have their names changed without their permission. Compared to what they go through my life is easy.
Predictions for this season: We are struggling to get any momentum this season. All the teams are closely matched in terms of skill, and wins are hard to come by. We are hoping to get promoted of course, but we’ll have to wait and see.
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