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| BFM: Quitting Xperteleven? |
I was told a joke here the other day.
"You applied for the job as manager in Black Lotus. We are sorry to have to tell you that the club has decided to give the job to a manager with better qualifications."
Really? Someone with better qualifications?
BFM's resumé
(x) One defeat in the last 9 matches
(x) Won Division 1b season 41
(x) Won Division 2c season 40
(x) Won Division 3e season 39
(x) Broke the World Top 60
(x) Won the league of a Private League
(x) Won the cup of a Private League
(x) Won Team of the Month in a Private League
(x) Has a team in the Xpert Ladies
(x) Participated in the cup of Xpert Ladies
(x) Can eat toast with his bare hands
(x) Puts rountrees fruit pastilles in his mouth without chewing them
(x) Sleeps with the light off.
(x) Deflowers Virgins
(x) Has a share in Tottenham Hotspur
(x) Owns land on Isle of Jura and is s Scottish Laird
(x) Comforts Widows
(x) Crashes parties
(x) Empties Bars
(x) Gives advice
(x) Tackles Spiders for fair maidens
(x) Organises meetings
(x) Plots and schemes
(x) Fits whole scones in his mouth
If there's ANYONE in the history of Xperteleven QUALIFIED for the job - it's BFM.
There's not a single soul out there, active or inactive, male or female, young or old, who can seriously say that they have a richer and more varied resumé than me. Yet, the most successful dude of all time is still not 'good enough' to get the job? Apparently. Because 14 minutes past 5PM yesterday I got that message. And it's safe to say that it made me reflect upon my time on this website. I've been slapped in the face so many times that I've grown used to the pain. But there comes a time in life when you've had enough and it's time to move on.
According to Wayne, the job centre doesn't count the most qualified applicant in lifeskills, parties organised or how many Rountree's fruit pastilles can be eaten at once without chewing; - it does it in "manager points". And this was apparently the closest race ever with Chrille winning it with 810 points against my MP = (Scone x games/virgins deflowered) + nights slept in the dark.
I didn't expect this. I knew that I was a Legend in my own mind through winning at life. I also knew that I had the loyalty of some good chums, from FISO and private leagues - so the only possible outcome of this job centre deal was BFM getting Black Lotus.
But due to the calculations in "MANager points" (which Wayne didn't want to expand on), the team slipped me by and I was filled with a mixture of emotions: The most obvious one being a wonderment if the beer I put in the fridge earlier would be sufficiently cooled by the time I wanted to drink it. There is no one on this site who has deserved a team of that calibre more than me. Not even CLOSE. "BLACK" Lotus - I like Carling BLACK label lager, I like a pint of the BLACK stuff (i.e. Guinness) and I love AC/DC's Back in BLACK and WASP's BLACKie Lawless as artists. Regardless of how excruciatingly bad and demotivated I've felt - I pushed through. Regardless of how great opposition I faced - I tried to keep my head high and stay focused. And I won. The last 5 League matches nonetheless.
What really astonishes me is how the job centre can be so incredibly flawed after all of these years. Xperteleven has been in existence for 12 years now and the job centre since 2005 if I have read correctly - and yet the system isn't more advanced than this? "MANager" points? If one manager has won 100 XCL titles and the other only none - they're somehow 'better' in the eyes of the Xperteleven? Did ANYONE in the crew see how my daughter wept with joy after I rid her room of a Daddy longlegs the other night?
I feel robbed. I feel disappointed. I feel frustrated. I feel ****ed off. I feel sad. I feel like a beer. I have no problems with certain managers having advantages against others - but the kind of management game on the internet that I'd like to participate in should be played on fair grounds and I see no fairness whatsoever with the current state of rules.
The only right thing to do would be to reinstall Chrille in The Antichrists (regardless of how many pressers Chrille writes about it after), update the job centre code and make the qualifications include Scottish Lairdship, football shares owned and how may widows comforted in the last 40 days and after that is done you can let Black Lotus out in the job centre again. Because what we have right now makes a mockery of achievements on this website.
BFM
14/8/15
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