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| Introducing... Drags, Mbappe and BATMAN |
Knights of Cydonia FC have rounded off their transfer business this off-season with three new signings (technically five but Duke Kennedy was only signed so that we could sell Irujo and we're keeping him for that role come Mota's retirement, we have already gone over Cuthbert Sharrock too). The three new signings came in somewhat dramatic fashion.
New Romanian goalkeeper Ivan "Drags" Drãgãnescu was introduced as the club's new number 1 goalkeeper. Long serving shot stopped Ant Connolly departed on Tuesday but his replacement came a few hours before. The Romanian is highly rated and came through the ranks at former Dream League champions Danubius Galati. However with both Redmond Rafferty and Glen Sloan ahead of him in the pecking order he was placed on the transfer list, and joined Knights for over 5 million econ. Not the most expensive signing we've ever had and a bit older than we would have liked for our new first choice goalkeeper at 18 years of age, but by making him first choice now we are pretty confident that he can develop into a top class goalkeeper to go alongside an already promising defence. He and Gicu Elen will add a Romanian flavour to Knights' defence for years to come.
In an entirely different league, Paris Saint Germain were having problems converting their loan of Kylian Mbappe to a full time contract. Real Madrid tried to buy him to replace Ronaldo but it didn't work out and Mbappe announced his next club... he would be moving to the Ultimate League to play for Knights of Cydonia FC!
The news shocked world football, and PSG lost the contract rights to Portucale FC in the Hattrick League so it was the latter who gained the benefit of the sale. Mbappe will replace Irujo at Knights. Both made their debut in the cup match, a thumping 5-0 win though Mbappe was booked in the process.
Just then though, the lights went out. A loan figure stood in the dark, making some broad footstep noises. The whole place was incredibly atmospheric as the figure walked along, he appeared to be wearning a black cape and was wearing a mask ears. Just then, he proclaimed...
"I'M BATMAN"
He then immediately leaped and took out some sort of grapple lassoo, using it to take a nearby football and started to show off with the football. He kept saying "I'm Batman" over and over again while doing this, it appeared that he had a Romanian accent. He was displaying some incredible self-confidence although it could be considered in arrogance territory. He even kicked the ball, saw it bounce off two walls and land straight back at his feet. He wasn't afraid to show off by any means.
Enter Marcu "Batman" Batlan. Nenenenenenenenenenenenenenenene BATLAN! The 16 year old prodigy who seemed to think he was a superhero. He immediately demanded the number 8 shirt. When told that was Alvito Roma's shirt, Marcu responded "I'm Batman" and immediately ran towards Alvito Roma and held him by the throat. "If I do not get the number 8 shirt, then I will ensure it's current wearer will no longer exist and I will just have to take it over in such a situation. After all, I'M BATMAN!"
Aperson was forced to reluctantly agree to Batlan's demands in order for Alvito to stay alive. When asking Alvito what sort of number he would like to wear in his final season other than 8, Alvito responded with "why did you buy that guy? He's a prick. He will not work at all at this club regardless of how talented he might be, he does not deserve to succeed me in that shirt number. Though I will say number 10 has always been my favourite number, I'm more of an attacking midfielder than a defensive one so a number a bit closer to a player at the far end of the pitch would suit me."
So, in his final season Alvito Roma will wear number 9 for Knights. There is also a number change for Del Horno who will wear 4 this season following the departure of Donovan Pursall, Sharrock takes over the number 5.
Knights squad numbers for Season 47:
1 Ivan DRAGANESCU
2 Gicu ELEN
3 Matts LAGERGREN
4 Maciel DEL HORNO
5 Cuthbert SHARROCK
6 Pierre of HESSLINK
7 Severino MOTTA
8 Marcu BATLAN
9 Alvito ROMA
10 Celso MOTA
11 Raymond HARGREAVES
13 Leeroy JENKINS
16 Aquiles SANTAMARIA
19 Silvio SBACCANTI
21 Dani MASSA
23 Duke KENNEDY
29 Kylian MBAPPE
Rumours are already circulating however that Marcu Batlan will not be a long term solution for the team and may only last one or two seasons before being shipped out of the door. There are suggestions he was a panic buy after missing out on a Swedish midfielder by the name of Waldemar Tinnfeldt and that the manager bought him without knowing what he entailed because the other 16/4 on the market was a moody, this time around we are not buying moodies to be core midfielders in our team.
The midfield needs some serious work though. All the other areas are coming along fine but midfield looks weak with Motta and possibly Sbaccanti the options right now. Batlan was signed to be the second star alongside Motta but this is one troublesome midfield to put together...
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