"It's a double bubble for the Hippy Chicks," raves manager Tony Brazil at the Hippydrome, "the final day of the season saw us do enough to win the division 1a title, a draw with Peach Blossoms also keeping them safe. Elsewhere Linkoping drew with ChromosomXX meaning Chromo missed the chance to overtake us so ended second, whilst the Linkos dropped into the relegation zone: they were top of the league not so long ago! An unbelievable end to the season."

Brazil has to sit down with the weight of this momentous day on his shoulders, then he reveals another momentous occasion has occurred today, "our midfielder Arrate Lefarraga today became the Chicks most played player with three hundred and eighteen appearances. To honor the occasion she was our playmaker, and Blossoms joined in by woman-marking her.

"She made little impact on the match, which itself had little excitement apart from Varao's own goal being disallowed and I'd get hysterical if we had to talk about my emotions at that point," Brazil has a lie-down, "but we got together for a little something to mark Arrate's big day."

Lefarraga bursts in and shoves a sourdough cupcake into Brazil's mouth, "I was told it would be dough. You know, moolah, econs, wheelbarrows full of econ notes. I don't even get a cake I get a, what do you call it? A cakelet!"

Brazil's emotions explode in empathy and hysterics finally take over this historical day, so a veil is discreetly drawn over the Hippydrome.