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When boys become Matchstick Men |
"If our game against Big Jocks was a film it would be classed a video nasty," laughs Matchstick Men manager Brazil post match as he opens his report.
Silence from the the press seated in the conference suite.
"Is anyone here," questions Brazil, "old enough to remember video nasties?"
Again, silence.
"Is anyone here old enough to remember videos?"
Embarrassed coughing.
"It was ugly from the start," Brazil abandons his antique analogy and presses on, "the niggles and pushes turned into shoves then an injury. Surprisingly it was a Big Jocks player carried off and not one of our kids.
"Shortly after that substitution we had the ball in their net. It was disallowed, a decision that did not help to calm the game down. At half-time the players and officials left the field to a ferocious wall of booing," Brazil laughs hoarsely, "I may have added my voice to the chorus there.
"Was anyone else here booing?"
"I was saying 'Boorazil'," comments one hack.
"Thanks," falters a wrong-footed Brazil, "the negativity and anger around Lucifer affected our opponents as in the second half we ran riot. A goal in the fifty-fifth minute saw the deadlock broken and two minutes later a Jocks front man limped off for their second enforced substitution of the day.
"One nil up is a dangerous scoreline and on a rare attack the Jocks got the ball in our net on the eighty-fifth minute. Their joy was short as it was disallowed, then in added on time our joy was unbound as Haas got our second and killer goal.
"It was a tough re-entrance into division 4K," blisters Brazil, "and to win under these conditions shows that today is the day our boys have become men, Matchstick Men."
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