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| Matchsticks take fire out of Schmoke |
Frodo ‘Gollum’ Bagger nudges Schmoke’s midfield dynamo Mario Mais into a goalpost during a pre-corner melee. Mais is left unconscious and Gollum curdles over him as if he’s giving the kiss of life, but really he’s spitting vile words of incantation in the prone man’s ear. Eight minutes have gone on the clock and in an already muscular match the stakes have been raised.
Schmoke’s already under-strength midfield collapses as Mais is replaced with a twenty year old, and the rest of the first half is spent deep in Schmoke territory as their five man defence does a dance of death with Matchstick’s predatory five man midfield. Gollum abandons his goal line instead pacing along the halfway line looking for some action. But it remains scoreless as the half ends.
Unfortunately for Schmoke the breakthrough came from one of their rare attacks; Donny Skog claimed the ball and counter-attacked with a long and hard blast into now empty Schmoke half of the field. Conny Molin raced onto and controlled the ball with some fine movement, finishing off the move with the ball in the back of the net. GOAL!
Matchsticks took the fire out of the belly of Schmoke with that goal, and though they finally got some shots on target Gollum gobbled them up with delightful ease. The match ended 1-0 to the Matchstick Men but surprisingly the daleks of Xterminador still leapfrogged into top place on goal difference after their handsome victory. Even more surprisingly Gollum got the man of the match award despite having little to do.
“It was a rough, tough, bruising affair all round,” relaxes manager Tony Brazil, “and Gollum deserved the award for surfing the maelstrom.”
As Brazil falls into drug-induced slumber the press know that although it is too tight to call at the top of the league one thing is certain – they know who ate all the painkillers.
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