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CL Istanbul 05
Ultimate League, Ultimate League
Manager: Plaristocrates
Blueprint
The CL Istanbul 05 media department has been advising team manager Plaristocrates on how to write a successful press release:

"Following a brief preamble to set the scene, you should quote yourself in the third person in concise declarative sentences devoid of metaphors or flowery adjectives. Try if you can to emulate the tone of a professional sport reporter, who is writing about you in a dry, official style that is readily comprehensible to people of all different ages and backgrounds.

Something like this should suffice:

"C L Istanbul 05 moved into the play-off spots with a closely fought 2-1 victory over Breezly 46 on Monday.

The win leaves them 5 points above the drop zone  but with 4 of their last 5 fixtures away from the Atatürk, they won't feel safe just yet.

"We'll take each game as it comes and see where we end up", Istanbul manager Plaristocrates explained after the match.

Next week they host Wednesday FC who will be eager to secure points in their fight for survival."

Using each sentence as a separate paragraph adds a veneer of authentic journalistic gravitas that may help to compensate for a lack of any stylised language, factual analysis or irony. Remember that whilst it can be rewarding to entertain yourself and your audience, getting something of eligible length published before the deadline is your paramount concern. Bills don't pay themselves after all, and once your work is complete you can go back to perfecting your magnum opus in your free time.

That's it! Now just sit back and wait for the kudos to roll in."

2016-06-08 01:00 688 Views Reporter: TonyBrazil

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