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CL Istanbul 05
Ultimate League, Ultimate League
Manager: Plaristocrates
Sale
The bid for defender Salvatorio Gilardino was accepted without consulting the player, who had his heart set on finishing his career here and left earlier today with great reluctance. He tearfully cleared his locker into his rucksack before deciding he would make a last-ditch attempt to remain.

He kidnapped the cleaner, locked himself in the dressing room, and smeared the walls with faeces. An armed response unit was called, one member of which managed to breach the room via the skylight and abseil unseen to the rescue.

Gilardino was then frogmarched out of the stadium and bundled into an armoured personnel carrier, which delivered him to buyers Restless City as fast as the speed limit would allow.

The club would like to wish Gilardino every success in his future career but would also like to remind him that they have obtained a restraining order precluding him from coming within 500 metres of either the stadium or the training ground.

2017-02-26 18:53 751 Views Reporter: TonyBrazil

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