Members online1 767

Matchstick Men
Division 2c, Xpert League
Manager: TonyBrazil
Youth Academy scandal uncovered
'You have a talented player in the youth team who feels ready to play with the first team. Your youth coach thinks highly of the player', Bairns manager Tony Brazil reads, sneers then tantrums, "that youth coach better be bringing in another Lionel Locke or he'll never darken Estadio Lucifer again".
An eighteen-year-old, three-skilled player is pushed through the door. Brazil takes one look and appraises what he sees, "if you were two years younger and three stone lighter, I'd fancy you."
Ever the charmer, Brazil kicks Kenny Wason out the door.
The same scenario plays out five days later, this time the callow youth is a nineteen-year-old, three-skilled player. Brazil puzzles, "Is that your name son? Fergus Wason?"
The youth stammers an affirmative.
"Strange as the last useless youth was also a Wason. Pack your bags son, there's no room for you here."
Later that evening Brazil tracks down the youth coach in a local hostelry and has words, "what's going on at the youth academy? You only started recently but with the results so far I may have to let you go; what's your name again?"
"Wason sir," slurs the coach, "Mr. Wason, and those last two 'products' of the academy were in fact my sons. Sending them in under false pretences was all I could think of doing. There's nothing left of your academy since you stopped investing any money, I run it from my garden shed.
"No training goes on, or anything like that. It is a complete fantasy because there's no youths to train. Or anywhere to train them. After my two boys, to tell you the truth I'll just be bringing kids in off the street once in a while so it looks like I'm doing something," Wason weeps
Brazil softens and buys Mr. Wason a pint of wine, plus two for himself, "that's grand man, grand. There's a place for you in football still; with your fantastical, out-of-touch view of the world, your over-bearing self-importance and a natural cunning I suggest you try being a referee."

2018-12-08 14:14 2705 Views Reporter: TheAPERSON

Royal escape
Nail biting scenes in the final round of the league have Sons of Apollo dramatically evoking Buckingham Palace, Bernie's Weekend and Monsters

Tribute to Darren Garden
Garden goes but the new shoots are poking through

Injured keeper's outfield replacement lets in three late goals

If games were 80 minutes we would be fourth bark the Dogs

Curve ball Pitfairn
A masterclass debrief of Granite City's double header
2020-08-16 15:20 Final day drama!
2020-08-09 12:27 Jambo takes charge of Douchebags
2020-07-01 13:51 Wanderers want win
2020-06-08 17:14 Super sub's superb salute
2020-04-05 10:27 Arena anger
2020-03-30 09:41 Gago goes from zero to hero
2020-02-11 00:12 Victory sign teenage wonderkid!
2020-02-04 21:20 Bribe, Blubb Blubb and bruise blunders
2020-01-30 23:46 The perks of being
2020-01-29 01:24 Zagreb promoted to Xpert League
2020-01-17 00:52 The end of a cycle
2020-01-16 09:51 Double champions!
2019-12-26 10:35 Merry Xmas
2019-12-15 16:12 More bottle, more fizz and more manic
2019-11-21 20:09 Mourinho's Matchstick Men?
2019-10-17 15:37 Titanic clash opens the season
2019-10-09 09:22 You've never heard of the Ghost Dogs?
2019-10-03 23:09 Granite News
2019-09-28 01:33 Champions at last!
2019-09-07 10:24 Weekend Beach Party fail
2019-08-04 19:17 Panic in the streets of Matchstick
2019-07-26 19:26 Mad Max furious with Travis Tee
2019-06-17 23:35 Do-do-do the double!
2019-06-13 19:31 Ramshackle ruin rejoicing
2019-04-02 23:52 I'm the Normal One...

Doobily Dodgers do it in style
Xpert Ladies season 61 is the season of the underdog as a newly promoted team rocks the league and David stones Goliath in the cup

XD introduce: 2 new trophies!
The Antimatter Trophy and The Trinity Trophy will be awarded to top scorers, and just maybe might result in VIP as well.

Battle of the Dream League
It was a nail biting end to the Dream League season 55, as three teams fought for the title going into the final round. Who would come out on top?

A Crimson Star is Born!
Xpert International Cup is claimed in a dramatic penalty shootout as previous winners Riverfield are defeated by new super team Crimson Star.

Xpert Champions League LXI
The 61st season of Xpert Champions League has been drawn.

XCL LX Final and knockout stages
Going all the way to the final, a review of the knockout stages of the Xpert Champions League including masterclass tips from the winner

Skeletor miss the Hattrick but still win
Skeletor win a dramatic final day in the Hattrick League to retain the league title but Saint O'Neill beat them in the cup final in a huge upset!

This Rhythm isn't going anywhere! (Edit)
In spite of a stern challenger in Pannben United, Helsingfors Rhythm Gymnastics remain Final League champions in dramatic final day showdown! Updated

Unbeatable Bhoys Do It Again!
WeeBarra and Green Bhoys FC clinch their second title in a row with an unbelievable unbeaten season!

Inspired Istanbul clinch Treble!
A new super team has emerged to take X11 by storm as CL Istanbul go the entire Ultimate League season without losing a single game, winning the treble
© Xpert Eleven AB 2003 - 2021