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Matchstick Men
Xpert League, Xpert League
Manager: TonyBrazil
Weekend Beach Party fail
"The party invitations to Bernies Weekend promised drunken debauchery so we had to remind ourselves this was, in fact, a football match, a match we had to win," reflects Matchstick Men manager Tony Brazil from his prison cell, "maybe we didn't remind ourselves enough.
 
"Our dressing room, when we got there, was full of beach paraphernalia plus jugs of cocktails and barely-dressed ladies ready to serve them. I knew their game," sneers Brazil, "so threw my team out to get changed in the corridor away from temptation.
 
"I stayed and it is true I sampled some of the delights though this is not the reason I was ranting naked on top of the dugout on the second minute of the match. My anger was due to Bernies Weekend's goalkeeper scything down our Hogg who had a clear goal-scoring opportunity.
 
"When Offasjed only showed a yellow card I was incensed and made my dirty protest demanding the death penalty for such an infringement. A crisis management team by the name of Baywatch coaxed me down and I was fine again until we scored two late goals to end the first half two-nil up.
 
"The second jug of Sex On The Beach is to blame, why it was in the dugout I don't know and I also have no recollection of my actions that led me to be incarcerated here on the Virgin Islands," laughs Brazil bitterly, "all I know is that without my guiding light in the second half, the home team came back to score twice.
 
"The end result was a two-all draw that does nothing at all for either club's hopes; us to win the title or them to escape relegation," Brazil is distracted by laughter from the crowd, "what's your problem?"
 
"Matchstick Men winning the league," crows a journalist from the local press, "that's the biggest laugh I've had in years."
 
Not for the first time, Brazil regrets being behind bars so he cannot physically respond to his mockers.

2019-09-07 10:24 416 Views Reporter: Sayan44

Arena anger
Bad week for boss Brazil as disallowed goal causes anger and two visits to the Dentist.

Gago goes from zero to hero
Cup win puts Brazil's men into last 16

Victory sign teenage wonderkid!
It was cloak and daggers as Dark Victory beat big name clubs to nab their new signing

Bribe, Blubb Blubb and bruise blunders
Bruise for a bruise as red card sees the Matchstick snap

The perks of being
Manager laughs in the face of Average Age penalties and threatens to play some James Blunt
2020-01-29 01:24 Zagreb promoted to Xpert League
2020-01-17 00:52 The end of a cycle
2020-01-16 09:51 Double champions!
2019-12-26 10:35 Merry Xmas
2019-12-15 16:12 More bottle, more fizz and more manic
2019-11-21 20:09 Mourinho's Matchstick Men?
2019-10-17 15:37 Titanic clash opens the season
2019-10-09 09:22 You've never heard of the Ghost Dogs?
2019-10-03 23:09 Granite News
2019-09-28 01:33 Champions at last!
2019-09-07 10:24 Weekend Beach Party fail
2019-08-04 19:17 Panic in the streets of Matchstick
2019-07-26 19:26 Mad Max furious with Travis Tee
2019-06-17 23:35 Do-do-do the double!
2019-06-13 19:31 Ramshackle ruin rejoicing
2019-04-02 23:52 I'm the Normal One...
2019-03-28 12:47 Goodbye Xperteleven
2019-03-09 23:58 Ludus Korinth
2019-03-06 12:59 Dancing in the streets!
2019-03-06 12:59 Dancing in the streets!
2019-01-09 23:45 A missed opportunity
2018-12-08 14:14 Youth Academy scandal uncovered
2018-11-16 22:26 A legend bows out with style
2018-10-19 22:26 Malta Football Club
2018-10-10 00:21 Huge Upset in the Cup


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