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The Fifth Column
Division 4o, Power League
Manager: Woodstock11
Now on Disney+: Takeourbribe Takyabribe!
The Fifth Column have lost their first league game 2-1 in the Baltic Arena versus local hosts Akademia Gdinya.

There are games this season where the team actually stands a reasonable chance at a decent result and this was one of them. Manager Woodstock was utmost pleased when he saw referee Will Taykabribe was appointed at the helm of the fixture.

"Now, I myself deny all accusations of, let's say, any shady activities going on initiated or facilitated by myself. No X11-comittee will have anything on me as long as they stay out of my office. However we are a Five Points club and although I can not really condone officially some of the inventive entrepreneurship our beloved residents undertake in order of our team getting an edge in sorts, I do understand. It is their basic survival instinct at play. What can I say. And this behaviour somehow sees us performing way better when Will has the whistle."

Anyhow the game went pretty well. The Fifth Column took the lead in the 47th minute after a beautiful curled freekick from Norelius and it looked to be a great start of the season. Until the 75th minute when referee Taykabribe suspended the game after some whispers in his earpiece.

Further investigation of the matter, as taps are held in place, showed that Will's handler made an emergency call. Avid fans 'The American Natives' passed Will Taykabribe a briefcase just before the match. 300K econ should be in there and for this Will should have to do some favorable refereeing. Which he did. His handler unfortunately quickly noted, after getting his hands on said case at the interval, that the banknotes were not real for most part. The top ones had Franklin on them but the rest had images of Mickey Mouse and were also made of eatable paper.

What happened in the 15 minutes of the remaining play time was devastating for the Fifth Columns players on the pitch. Everything went against them. The assistent clearly showed 1 minute extra should have been added. But a furious Will Takyabribe just let play go on until Akademia scored their winning goal in the 93 minute whilst the assistent clearly waving his flag for a 10 yard offside situation.

"When you play with fire you sometimes get burned. Also the Five Point's internal rivalry does not help. The Dead Rabbits provided the freshly forged and pressed banknotes to the Natives and found it funny as a joke and provocation to Bill Butcher putting the Mickey Mouse image on top of them. Normally it would have been a secret watermark to retrace their origin. Never thinking the consequence seeing their favourites lose their game because of this."

Another strange and exciting tale from the lively borough in which The Fifth Column so proudly resides. Now let's hope Will does not show up for any more Fifth Column fixtures this season. Which is likely as he might receive unexpected nightly visits this week. And not from Mickey Mouse.

Next game up is an all youth game as the too strong VFB Buttfart will visit stadium Hell's Kitchen. It should be a smelly 90 minutes of game experience. After that it's the important round two of the cup.

2020-12-13 01:31 576 Views Reporter: TonyBrazil

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